On Labelling – Read Before Labelling Anything

The most powerful story is the one you tell yourself.

May 03, 2025

I'm Michal, that's my name, but I have plenty of labels.

A name is something unique which helps us in a social world — without other people, we wouldn't need our names.

But labels are different, and we have plenty of them stuck to us. Throughout my life, mine have been: the kid who is good at maths, the well-behaved child, the calm one, the developer, the engineering manager, the writer, the vegetarian... and it goes on and on.

What are your labels?

Have these built your identity?

Did you pick them or were you given them by others?

Labels are good... and bad.

Labels are double-edged swords that should be approached with caution.

What I discovered during my meditation retreat (I became a monk for 10 days so you don't have to) was that our brains label everyone around us without even thinking about it.

One of the aspects of the retreat was turning off the whole mental module responsible for social interactions. I noticed my brain quickly started putting labels on people.To build their persona and establish their virtual image of identity which we hold in our brains.

We are social animals, and these modules were crucial for our survival. So we label people: someone is rude, impatient, or walks in a weird way. Of course, we label with positives too — calm, strong, responsible. Sometimes, we establish rapport after just a few sentences. And it all happens automatically.

The good

You are a strong and independent human being! — giving yourself positive labels can help with shaping your identity.

Giving ourselves labels can do wonders. It can work like a placebo effect that influences you significantly, that's why drugs are tested in blind trials, to consider this effect.

Labels that you pick for yourself can help shape your identity. Believing in your own skills can do wonders.

The bad

Maybe your parents said, ‘You are a misbehaving child’. You heard it again and again, so you started to believe it. Then you acted that way, and it became your label.

I heard many times that I have a strict mind, more into maths than things like history, literature or art. And it stuck so much! I was always thinking about myself as logical and pragmatic, yet I enjoy the other side a lot. It was completely off my radar because of the repeated comments from my childhood.

Open to Change

There is one small mind trick that you can apply to shake your labels loose. To let them breathe and maybe change after a while.

Add a small, simple “yet” (a concept from one of my favourite authors, Derek Sivers):

I'm not a morning person, yet.

I don't like sushi, yet.

It won’t change you right away, but it helps your mind stay open.

Give yourself room for change by simply introducing "yet" whenever you label yourself. It's perfectly fine to change your labels, as with your opinions about the world. We all change, evolve and we are shaped by our experiences.